December 1999

I crush my lips to his and feel him cold as ice. I realise my mistake and step back. Humiliation paralyses me for a moment before awkward words leave my mouth, "I'm sorry. I thought you... It was a misunderstanding."

A feverish glow lights the depths of his green eyes. With a pained expression, he grabs my robes with his fists, pulling me against his body. Hope engulfs my heart with fire as I let myself be led.

We exchange a clumsy kiss. I want to tease him, seduce him, drive him crazy with desire, but my gestures are abrupt and hurried. Our tongues meet; I close my eyes. His body is soft against mine. As I press my body to his, he moans and rubs against me. I want to be calm, tender and careful, but the feel of him against me is too much.

He takes my breath away. I break the kiss. He is clearly out of breath, too.

He asks me if I would agree to share Ginevra with him. It will break my heart, I know. I can't even think of seeing her with another man, let alone him. Yet, I say yes. I must be completely out of my mind.

He looks at me as if asking me to save him. I don't know whether he wants me to save him from myself or from himself. I just know I am too weak to help him. All I can do is drag him with me to the abyss.