Splitting Hairs


Harry and Severus were dressing for a ceremony in the Ministry, where Headmistress McGonagall would be given an Order of Merlin, first class, for service to the Wizarding World. Harry taught Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, and Severus was the Potions master again. They had been lovers since the end of the war, when Harry had defeated Voldemort with Severus's help.

Harry had been standing in front of the mirror in Severus's rooms for about half an hour. "Damn. I don't know what to do about my hair. Severus, don't you know a spell to make my hair behave?"

"When my students don't behave well, usually a mere glare is enough to deter them," said Severus. "Sadly, I don't believe it would work with your hair. Threats of poisoning would probably be ineffective too."

"Pffft. Thank you very much. I need help here!"

"Harry, perhaps I shouldn't tell you this, but I do know how to make your hair behave."


"In fact, I am, in part, responsible for the rebel behaviour of your hair."

"How so?" asked Harry, in disbelief.

"Once, your despicable father cast a spell to make my hair perpetually greasy."

"Severus! That's awful! And your hair never came back to normal?"

"It will stay like this forever: James was the only one who could undo the spell."

"But what does my hair have to do with yours?"

"I countered by casting a spell on him and all his descendents..."

"You filthy bastard! So if I have children... if we have children... they will have unruly hair like me?"


"But... you're alive. You can undo the spell."

Severus cleared his throat. "Do you think it is fair that my hair should remain greasy while yours goes back to normal?"

"Well, it wasn't me who cast the spell on you, it was my father!"

"Even so, it doesn't look fair to me."

Harry sighed loudly. "Very well. What do you want in exchange?"

"Let me think about it... Oh, yes. I can think of something that will make James roll in his grave: marry me and take my name."

Harry widened his eyes. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Severus arched an eyebrow and waited anxiously for the answer.

Harry smirked. "Harry Potter-Snape... What do you think?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "If you insist on keeping that horrible 'Potter' in your name, I think I may try to live with it."

"And will you remove the spell from my hair?"

"Yes, I shall do it." Severus was almost losing patience. "So?"

"Oh, well... I have been waiting for this for more than five years. Of course I'll marry you!"

Severus let out the breath he had been holding, feeling victorious. It had been easier than he had thought it would be.




Ptyx, January 2006

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