Gothic Fantasy Number z

 

"Stay for me there! I will not fail
To meet thee in that hollow vale."

[Exequy on the death of his wife,
by Henry King, Bishop of Chichester.]

 

I

 

"For never a man, being mean like me,
Shall die like me till the whole world dies.
I shall drown with her, laughing for love; and she
Mix with me, touching me, lips and eyes."

[Algernon Charles Swinburne, Les Noyades]


He knew that whatever was waiting for him would be worse than any Unforgivable. The Dark Lord - Severus still wasn't able to call him by any other name, and perhaps he would never be - had already entertained himself enough by casting upon Severus as many Cruciatus curses as Severus could take.

For long moments Severus drifted in delirium. Vague, spectral forms surrounded him; whispering voices telling him he deserved to be punished, and that his Fate had been sealed from the moment he had joined the Death Eaters.

He was being led to Hades. Only silence and darkness enveloped him.

~* ~* ~

II

 

Harry opened his eyes slowly only to find out that the world wasn't less dark than when he had them closed. He stretched out his hand and touched something damp and solid. The atmosphere was heavy; the air fetid and almost unbreathable. The cell where they had put him seemed very small.

He tried to stand up, leaning on the damp walls. The ground was wet and slippery, and Harry trembled convulsively, dreading that he might hit his head against the ceiling and discover he was in a tomb. But no; the place was high enough to allow him to stand up. He took a step away from the wall, and almost fell into a kind of pit. He carefully half-turned and hit another wall - stony, slimy and cold. He tried to walk by leaning on it, but when he arrived at a corner and turned, he stumbled into something soft on the ground.

It was a human body. Harry squatted and touched its arm.

"Leave me alone," the fallen man grumbled.

Harry would recognise that voice anywhere. Severus Snape. The traitor. The murderer. What was he doing there?

There was barely room for two people and a nasty pit. Snape was lying all curled up. Harry sat beside him. There was nothing he could do.

~* ~* ~

The Death Eaters were attacking him; Ron and Hermione were trying to save him, but Snape cast Avada Kedavra on him. His body was flung into the air and he fell from the Astronomy Tower.

His scream was silenced by a grave voice, and firm hands shook his body. "Potter."

"What?"

"You slept and had a nightmare."

Slept and had a nightmare. As if waking here, in a tiny, damp and cold hole with Snape, wasn't nightmarish enough.

"What're you doing here?" asked Harry.

"Probably the same as you."

"But you're a Death Eater."

"That's not what the Dark Lord thinks."

~* ~* ~

Harry's eyes were already accustomed to the darkness, and he could see the wounds on Snape's body.

"Don't look at me this way," said Snape. "You wouldn't be alive now if I hadn't killed the rats and bats they left here to welcome us."

"Ugh." Harry shuddered. "How did you do that?"

"I was furious. I did it wandlessly. Later, I felt drained. I threw all their bodies into the pit. Before that, I had thought of washing myself there, but then I saw it is full of Inferi."

Harry would have shuddered again, if he weren't numb. "Those are probably the corpses of other people they threw down here."

Snape shrugged. "Probably."

~* ~* ~

It felt good, that body pressed against his. Harry was hard, and rubbed against it, eager for more contact. His own moans woke him up.

Oh, no. He had fallen asleep and was rubbing against Snape's body! And Snape was rubbing against him too!

Harry lifted his head to look at Snape and saw his eyes were closed. Had Snape fallen asleep too? Both were lying on the ground - all curled up, because the hole was too small to allow them to stretch their limbs - and their bodies entangled as if by their own will.

Harry squeezed Snape's shoulder. "Snape?"

Snape opened his eyes and shuddered. "Potter, what are you... Oh..."

Snape flinched and shrunk into a corner, as if terrified by what he was doing.

"Er... It's all right," said Harry.

Snape didn't say anything.

~* ~* ~

III

 

"And I should have held you, and you held me,
As flesh holds flesh, and the soul the soul.

Could I change you, help you to love me, sweet,
Could I give you the love that would sweeten death,
We should yield, go down, locked hands and feet,
Die, drown together, and breath catch breath;

But you would have felt my soul in a kiss (...)"
[Algernon Charles Swinburne, Les Noyades]


Next time, Harry embraced him on purpose. Their bodies were sheathed in mud; Harry was accustomed to the filth, to the smell. They expelled their bodily wastes into the pit, but that wasn't enough. Viewed up close, Snape's wounds were even more repulsive, but when Snape embraced him with all the strength his exhausted body could muster and they clung to each other, lips against lips, chest against chest, Harry was deeply moved.

Snape tipped his head and buried his nose in the curve of Harry's neck. "Harry," he murmured, kissing Harry's face all over, "I have wanted this for so long!"

Harry could barely see his expression, but something in Snape's tone revealed what a thousand words and gestures would not. From that moment on, nothing would be the same again, ever. Snape's eyes were sparkling stars. A cloud of incense rose up from the ground, and the pit waters began to murmur harmoniously. A superhuman bliss filled Harry's soul.

They were skin-to-skin now; Snape's body was firm and soft against his.

"I thought you hated me," said Harry.

"I hate you."

Harry gave a crooked smile. "But you've just said you've wanted this for so long. How can this be?"

"How can this be? I don't know. You tell me. What is it that makes me want to protect you, even knowing you hate me? What is it that makes me hope you don't find me repulsive? What is it that makes me want you to respect me and acknowledge my loyalty? I myself don't know, and don't understand. Anyway, it doesn't matter now, because we are dying."

Harry touched Snape's face and found a tear slipping down. Harry wanted to say so many things. He wanted to say he trusted Snape now, and that he felt guilty for not having trusted him before. He wanted to say he wished things could have been different. He wanted to say that together they would have been able to defeat evil. He wanted to say... The words stuck in his throat, but his lips avidly searched for Severus's. Their bodies seemed to know what they didn't know. Such a little thing, but it was all they had. And yet...

"Severus, death is not the end. I've heard voices at the other side of the Veil. We can meet again."

"Harry..." Incredibly, Severus's tone was amused. "Are you asking me for a date?"

Their laughter echoed through the cell, and the walls vibrated in a strange way, as if their laughter and their entangled bodies defied the laws of the universe. But Harry and Severus had already transcended the limits the universe imposed on them.

 

The End

 

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Ptyx, November 2005